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Tips for Reducing Stress: Saying "No!"One of the best tips for reducing stress is learning to say "no." It is always hard to admit to ourselves that we can't handle everything that is thrown at us, but none of us is superhuman, and sometimes you really can't take anything else on.At times like this, choosing to take care of yourself means saying "no" to others.
It feels scary but you can do it.This is one of those ways to relieve stress that may seem to make things worse before it makes things better. But have faith; it works and you can do it.Learning to say "no" comfortably is a process. It takes practice, but so do most tips for reducing stress. Think about what to say and how to say it. Rehearse a little. Ask a trusted friend for feedback on your approach.
Preparation is key.When you are ready, go on out there and say it -- "No."Be prepared for people's reactions. Some people will understand and you will be amazed at how easy it went. Others, especially those who have come to expect that you will always say "yes," may be surprised or even get mad. Don't freak out about it. Hear them out if you can, but if things get too heated, it's always o.k. to end the conversation at that point and go back to the training bag. Think over what was said and what you wish you had done differently (if anything). If necessary, go back for a second round with the person to clarify things.
Others' reactions are secondary.It helps to keep in mind that you are doing this for you, and that saying "no" is a way to take care of yourself. It really doesn't matter how someone else reacts, what's important is that you took action to take care of yourself.So even if you get a "fuck you," try to let it roll off your back, because that's not what matters. You can't control others, all you can control is yourself and your choices.
Surprise! You have choices.You will begin to notice more situations in which saying "no" is an option and may be appropriate. You will begin to notice that -- ta da! -- you actually have a choice in everything you do.Sometimes you will choose to say "yes," and that's o.k., as long as you are doing it freely and are aware that you have the option to say "no" instead.
People treat you as you treat yourself.Saying "no" can be hard at first, but practice makes it easier and easier. Pretty soon you will be able to do it calmly.And a really great and amazing thing is, when you take care of and stand up for yourself, others begin to treat you with respect.
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Stress NewsIt's National Stress Awareness Month!Did you know April is National Stress Awareness Month? Since 1992, thanks to the Health Resource Network, Americans have a month to focus on the problem of stress and how to better handle it. According to HRN's website, health care professionals and people who promote health are disseminating information and leading forums, discussion groups, and community events to raise awareness and educate the public about stress.
There's also a National Stress Awareness Day -- April 16, the day after taxes are due.
Which may make it a great occasion on which to reflect about starting your taxes
earlier next year. Gene Reduces Vulnerability to StressIf you handle stress well, you may have mom and dad to thank. UCLA researchers studying the IL6 gene and the biochemical pathway that triggers it have discovered that people who have a less common variant of the gene may be more able to withstand life's stressful events. The IL6 gene controls the body's immune response, causing inflammation when activated during the body's "fight or flight" response to stress. The most common variant of IL6 is associated with cardiovascular disease and cancer, and people with this variant have an increased risk of death for 11 years after suffering a stressful life event severe enough to trigger depression. But a less common version of IL6 lacks the pathway for stress to trigger it, resulting in no increased risk of death following major stress for those who carry it. The study will appear in an upcoming issue of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.(UCLA News Release, 2/10)
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Stress During Learning Affects Ability to Remember StuffIf you want to retain what you learn, don't try to learn it when you're under stress. German researchers subjected people to stress (immersing their hands in cold water -- ouch!) while they were learning words. During recall and recognition tests 24 hours later, the numb-handed people performed less well than control subjects who were not exposed to stress during the learning exercise.(Journal of Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, 2/10) |
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